Back in 1996, Romeo + Juliet was the movie. I remember watching it for the first time when I was 14 – the same age as Juliet – and thinking it was the most beautiful and romantic thing I’d ever seen. My school friends and I went over to my friend Lea’s house, and her dad set up a big screen in the living room so we could watch it like we were at the movies. We were all so moved by these two kids who just wanted to love. LET THEM LOVE!
Yeah… Fast forward 18 years, and my feelings are slightly more cynical (okay, a lot more cynical) and less wide-eyed wonder. Yesterday, I re-watched Romeo + Juliet for the first time in years, and a few things stuck out at me that I hadn’t even noticed as a young, naive teenager…
1. Romeo and Juliet are actually destructive, spoiled brats! Their whole relationship can be described as a party hook up that went way too far.
Seriously, unless you’re a Kardashian, you don’t marry a guy you’ve literally just met. Romeo proposed to Juliet the same night they met! Also, five minutes earlier, he was pining after the elusive Rosaline (who also happened to be Juliet’s cousin). Easy come, easy go, right, Romeo? The guy is a stage five clinger and should come with a warning.
2. Claire Danes apparently hated Leonardo DiCaprio. She found him immature and obnoxious, and from everything I’ve heard about Leonardo DiCaprio, she was probably right… Think about that the next time you watch the movie.
3. Which brings me to my next point, why would anybody choose Leonardo DiCaprio over Paul Rudd?!
I mean, seriously!
4. My sister is right – Claire Danes and I do kind of have the same nose. It may not be a great nose, but it’s OUR nose.
5. Romeo is a MURDERER! Are we just going to ignore that?! Yes, Tybalt was a bit of an asshole, but Romeo killed him in cold blood!
When he’s not out killing people, he’s running around with his gangster friends. What a catch. If I was Juliet, I’d be taking out an AVO…
6. Speaking of Romeo, he made his friend, Balthasar wait in the car ALL night while he was off having special cuddles with Juliet.
I’d be seriously pissed. I’d probably also take the car and leave. You’re taking the bus home, Romeo.
7. Claire Danes really does have the best cry face in the business.
8. Despite only knowing each other for a few days, Romeo and Juliet both committed suicide so they could be together for eternity. I can’t believe I ever thought that was sweet! It’s completely reckless and insane, and just goes to prove their immaturity.
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